can't fight this feeling anymore. [8.23.11]

Haha. I had no clue what I was going to title this blog until I practically looked at the title box, then starting singing "can't fight this feeling anymore" in my head. Thanks Reo Speedwagon. And yes, I had to look up that one, so don't be impressed with my musical knowledge. And no, this isn't an entry about my love life. This is an entry about giving up my seat on the sidelines and diving in head first.

But briefly, as promised: the award show...

The award for FLLT (fast like lightning texter) goes to Kelli Dailey. You beat out Anna Pruden by a mere 3 minutes to be the first person to text me in response to my last blog entry. Say hello to the Dailey clan for me!

Stealing his way into the award show for the second time: the award for MFS (most frequent skyper) goes to Andrew Dockery. Again, you are the man.

And also stealing another position for the second blog in a row: the award for MSMTA (most snail-mail to Africa) goes to Jenna Rae. I got a fourth letter from you today (Mom and Dad, I got your's today too! No package yet though).

Aight. Back to business.

I can't fight this feeling anymore; this feeling that the last blog is incomplete. I presented a story of a family who is in need, and simply asked you to pray. I believe in the power of prayer. It is a mighty thing. But I also believe that we use it as a crutch. We see people in need, feel sorry for them, then we leave them the way we found them, saying "I'll pray for you" (when in all actuality that probably means we'll pray for them once if they're lucky, cause more than likely we'll forget). So we use one of the most powerful tools that we can ever receive to avoid the chance of letting God interrupt our lives for His sake.

I was invited to a dinner the other night at Pastor Harold's house where I was given an opportunity to talk with the mother from the story. I could barely keep myself composed. One of the greatest things that evening wasn't even something that she said to me. The TV was on in the background while we were all gathered in the living room eating, and a gospel choir came on. They started sining an amazing rendition of "Holy, Holy, Holy". The rest of us were fixed on our conversations, but I glanced over at her during the middle of the song, and she was glued to the TV. She was literally hanging on every lyric that they sang. You would've thought that there wasn't a single person in the room besides her by the focus she had. This lady, sitting in a friend's home hundreds of miles away from her husband, was absolutely glowing with joy at the supremacy of Christ. Again, my circumstantial joy was given a beating.

I have no clue where any of you are financially. So please do not feel like I'm cornering you. If you're in a pinch, then continue to pray (and even if you're not). But if God's given you some excess, then I would ask that you prayerfully consider helping this family out with me. I found out that they have $350 (ballpark figure) of overdue payments to the water company. I also found out that for around $50-60/month, this family of four can have good electricity AND keep the water running. So if you have an odd feeling in your gut right now, and have extra or are willing to let God rearrange your dinner-plans or interrupt another area of your life, then I would ask you to join me and reunite this family... for good.

My mom's been gracious to help me with this stateside. You can send any money to her at our home address with the memo being "Zambia - Pastor". (If you need our home address, just message me on facebook). She'll need to have all the money by the 31st of August if at all possible, so she can wire it to me, then I'll take care of it on this side of the world. I know it's short notice, but God's done a lot in a few seconds and days before; we've got over a week, and we've got Him on our side.

-JA

the motherload of posts has arrived. [8.18.2011]

I know, I know. It’s been a while since I posted something on here. So go ahead and get mad. I honestly didn’t realize that it had been so long since I had written on here. But, today, all that is going to change. Trust me, I’ve deleted and rewrote this thing about 5 times now. So this sucker is going up, one way or another. But before I even start I want to pass out some awards.

The award for MCT (most consistent texter) goes to Jenna Rae. You're the best.

The award for CFBTWWMIA (come from behind texter who was MIA) goes to Dock. Love you man.

The award for MRASWT (most random and sometimes weird texts) goes to... I mean, who else would it go to... Bailey. haha.

**If you want to appear on the next award give out, then you more than likely know my number if you're reading this... so what are you waiting for? Getting texts from home are the best way to wake up or have a smile throughout the day!

The Falls were amazing again this year. Pictures will come at the end. But I think what really did it for me this year was being able to raft the Zambezi. Freaking awesome day. I'm so glad that we did it, and we got to meet some awesome people in our raft, too. Not to mention being surrounded by the beauty of the gorge the entire day. So often I found myself with my head pointed up looking at the gorge and all the nature and not paying attention to the water. It was breathtaking, quite literally too when we decided to ride through a rapid outside of the raft. Our guide said jump out and hold hands, so we did. With hands clinched our raft crew had no free hands to hold our noses or clear our eyes - we probably looked completely stupid, but it was an experience I'll never forget. Check that puppy off the bucketlist of life!

The majority of my work so far has been creating and recreating worksheets, charts, forms, and tables for the medical staff at the hospital. One of the first days I was orienting to the floor, I spotted some forms that didn’t look to swell to me. (I know, I’m OCD. So what?) So in some down time I began recreating them on the computer, saving them to their databases, and printing out the new and improved forms (I know some of you are probably laughing right now, because you know that making forms and improving old ones actually makes me happy and puts a smile on my face.) The Ward Matron caught wind of what I was doing, glanced at the forms, and was impressed. Oh yeah! Great success! So that started a process of pretty much recreating E-V-E-R-Y form that they use on the Ward, all 20some of them. Then she bragged about me at an interdepartmental meeting – so now I’m in the process of recreating the operating theatre’s forms. I’m guessing that next will be outpatient. Haha. I knew my OCD would come in handy someday other than being registrar at Cowen!

So that’s the days, but the nights – man, they are slow. Nine days have passed since the team left, which has truthfully made this week the hardest one yet. It seems like it wasn’t that long ago that they were still names-without-faces, contacting them with trip details and having our conference calls. Then all of the sudden, we met as a team and made our way to Zambia for three weeks. Battled the bush for 7 days, tackled Victoria Falls in style, and spent some amazing moments with children that will touch our lives forever. And now, well... they’re back home and I’m still here. And to add misery to defeat, two of my favorite kids on the ward left on Friday while I was helping do first-aid at some random German-Japanese-Zambian soccer match. (Oh, excuse me, football match.) But have no fear; I’m going to post a picture of them so you can see they’re smiling faces. The thing that you won’t be able to hear though is the oh-so-amazing way they say my name: Jona-fun! It’s awesome! Here the two are: Grace and Thomas.

Grace and Thomas were at CURE receiving treatment for clubfoot. Not only do the two of these little bundles of joy have clubfoot, but they both are orphans. Yes, orphans. Looking at their faces, you wouldn’t guess a single thing was wrong though. Try and enter into a smiling competition with them and you’re not only bound to lose, you’ll get creamed. How though? If truth be told, the two of these kids have gone through more crap in their 6 years of life then I have in 23. So how is the smile on their face not only bigger, but more consistent than mine? Man! What a reality and attitude check the two of them have been for me. The joy that they have isn’t circumstantial like mine; it’s pure. They love life. Which has made me think a lot about how much my joy is dependable on things, whether it is circumstance or what I have. I’m sure going to miss them.

Pressing on. With the team leaving and two of my favorite smiling jacks, adjusting has been rough, but it’s also been good (maybe). I’ve had a lot of time to read. Yes I just wrote that I have been reading, and I can honestly say that I’m not lying this time. I finished Red Letters finally, a book I actually started back in January. It was a good book, but I honestly think the best part about it is the thick list of awesome organizations that it houses in the “additional resources” at the back of the book. There are some amazing organizations with their websites listed, so if you have the book, make sure you read all the way to the end. I also finished Born to Run, which makes me miss running so much. I don’t think I’ll ever cave into the crave to run barefoot, but it was a thrilling read about an amazing, epic race with the Tarahumara.

[As a disclaimer, I hope that this does not come across as pessimistic. I know that I can tend to write that way sometimes. If anything, it’s a self-realization that I’m a part of the American Church, and therefore a part of the American Church problem, not apart.]

 As I have had tons of time to think about what I’ve learned here in Africa, I’ve picked up two more books: Erasing Hell and Not a Fan. I would highly recommend either one of them to you. They are books that approach two of the most important topics in our lives - what GOD said about Hell (and not what we’ve made up or added on) and what CHRIST said about following Him (and not what we wish He said). I could quote pages and pages of stuff for you, but in an attempt to try to keep this thing somewhat short, I’ll let you read the books for yourself. The only point I’ll make is that context is... everything. Thankfully God has put some great guys in my life (thanks Adam, BJ, and Mark) that have emphasized this over and over again. And Francis Chan pays much recognition to that statement in his book Erasing Hell, and so does Kyle Idleman in Not a Fan. These books explore what the Creator of the universe said on these subjects, and point out what we have tried to erase, edit, or add on. The books are trying. They are not books that you should get amped up to read and be excited for. Both talk about destruction and death, and both offer radical alternatives to the path that Christianity in America has taken. However, I think they are books that are dead-on and talk about vital issues for “followers” of Christ to face and think about. So grab these books if you see them and let God rip you up. After the hurt and the sting of realizing how dangerously complacent we’ve become as “Christians” in America wears off, you’ll feel empowered to be reminded that we just need to let God be God, and take His words to heart. Isn’t it crazy that empowerment can come from abandonment of control? Oh the mystery.

Back on track, again. I think.

I’ve realized that being a pastor in Zambia is not an easy calling, and is one that might at times leave you with no income or financial means of support. Try having a family on top of that – with a newborn daughter. Without money, bills don’t get paid, companies get angry, and lines are shut off. And that is no environment to try to raise an infant in. So what happens? The mother and children have to turn to extended family and friends (miles and miles away) for adequate shelter and means of running water, while the dad has to stay at home and tend to his church.

Think that this is just a story – think again. I know four faces (and names) that have been on my mind constantly that are in that exact situation right now as I type this. So please pray for the Church here in Zambia, for the pastors that have been called to lead it, and for the pastors’ families. It is this pastor’s passion and love to lead a body of believers, and to shepherd them. So here is a family who is currently hundreds of miles apart due to their commitment to the Church, while I have had to spend the last week reevaluating where not only my joy, but my commit, lies. I once saw a killer shirt that said "I need Africa more than Africa needs me"; I've never thought otherwise. Don't fall into the trap either. There's always a lesson to learn.

Here are some more pictures from Victoria Falls, since I hear that Jo and Susan have been putting them up on a slide at Beulah Ann whenever I post them. Thanks guys. You're the bomb. Once BJ gets the pics from whitewater rafting, you can rest assured I'll have them up.

where the gorge begins.

gives a new perspective for "come living water, all my fountains are in You".

yes Aaron Brownfield, i walked that far out. straight past the "don't go beyond this point" sign. just for you.

here's another view from where i shouldn't have gone. don't worry mom, i peed before i went to the Falls.

Nicky, BJ, and I at the Falls after a killer day rafting the aftermath of the Falls.

there's a wave that's crashing over me

and all i can do is surrender

whatever You're doing inside of me

it feels like chaos, but somehow there's peace

and it's hard to surrender to what i can't see

but i'm giving in to something heavenly.

mpongwe round two [8.1.11]

Happy Farmer’s Day! (It’s a national holiday in Zambia, so everyone pretty much gets off work.) Since I last wrote a lot of things have happened. So I’m going to have to cut out a lot of the details and just give you some highlights.

Last weekend the team and I were still in Lusaka, and we got to join Patrick and Gordon (med students from Ireland and Scotland) for the afternoon on Saturday at the Olympic Park. That entailed basketball, soccer, and a 100 meter dash with about 20 local kids. Needless to say, JA won the 100 meter dash, but the rest was anything but a victory with my lack of skill. Then Sunday gave us a chance to go to a local church and the market for some bargaining and shopping. Church was… different. The guest speaker for the day was a Texan evangelist that actually was the founder of the church here in Lusaka. The service was uncomfortable for me. It was all about what he was doing, where he had been, what he had done, and where he was going next. So many times he used “I did” or “I went”, proclaiming that he gave people the power to speak in tongues, or that he healed people. The topper of them all was that he had an angel that personally appeared to people in their dreams and told them “Go to (a place) because (this preacher) was going to be there and they needed to hear him speak.” Literally, he shared two stories like that. So apparently he has an angel as a publicist haha. I’m not saying that God doesn’t work in mysterious ways, but I didn’t see the Gospel in his message. I saw him. Hardly ever did he mention Christ or give him the credit; he was hording it all for himself. He even went to the point to say that if you didn’t speak in tongues that you had a “mundane Christianity”. And that scares me – that preachers like this are the ones that are listening to the great commission and going all around the world supposedly proclaiming the good news – for their benefit and glory. There was only one point that I agreed with him on that I can remember and that was “if religion could have saved Zambia then Zambia would have been saved a long time ago”. But then his message didn’t match up. Man, it was rough, but thank God that He is in control and not that preacher.

Onward ho. At 4:30am on Monday morning, the team and I woke up to depart for Mpongwe with the team from the hospital. For last year’s team members, you’ll be happy to hear that we left at 5:30am and made it there by right around noon! Such an improvement from last year! It was such an amazing time being back in Mpongwe for a second time, and for 7 days this time. And the kids! The kids were there and some of them had really practiced their English since last year! (Here’s a disclaimer for Ally: Esnoti says “Hey!”) All in all, the outreach was such a success and I was so thankful to be a part of it again. This year we really explored whether it’s better to try to reach as many people as possible, or to truly build relationships with the locals. To me, it was such a display of God’s love that we cared for them by name, rather than number. It wasn’t about being able to come back and report that “this amount were saved”, but that we could report “that this person accepted Christ and this one”. So high-five to Harold and the outreach team! I enjoyed it thoroughly!

Back to the kids! Wow. I wish I could have just taken a hand full of them back with me on the bus. Several of them were attached to our hips all week, which made it even harder to leave the village. I’ll note that they might have been attached to me because I had a headlamp, but it’s ok. I’m cool with that. Edwin, a little boy that was there last year, was the kid that as soon as he saw me, he would grab my arm and hang all over me until I had to literally remove him. I’m sure going to miss that boy. And Rongo, and Onest, and so many others! Hopefully I’ll be able to see them again one day.

Well now we’re back to the hospital and I know it might sound lazy, but it’s nap time. Then hopefully off to go play with the kids on the ward. Here are a few pictures from the trip so far:

the new look on the Children's Ward.

me and mister Edwin. he was attached to my hip.

the kids after they got the toothbrushes and toothpaste that was donated by so many of you!

if this doesn't make you appreciate the schooling we have in the states, what will?

my new bud Alfred and i.

another picture of the ward after the paint job!

three of my favorite kids on planet earth.

Your love is peace to the broken

faith for the widow

hope for the orphan

strength for the weak

Your love is anthem of nations

rings out through the ages

and You're always enough for me. 

[casting crowns]